I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Don't make out with my wife yet
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
