he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
