Me too!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
