I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
no you cant smoke seaweed
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
