I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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