Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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