Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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