I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize