On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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