You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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