Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
tell me about the fingering
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
