just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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