What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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