so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
