I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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