why didn't you poke me back
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
