this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
