i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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