just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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