"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
