Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
