so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
