He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
