That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
