She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize