If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize