i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize