just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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