I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
