he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
