Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
