And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize