cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
