So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
