if you like me you must not know who I am
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
