No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize