found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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