id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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