She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
