there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
