Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Randomize
