I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize