Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Girls should come with a carfax report
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
