I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
