Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
