All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
