Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
