My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I am one with the molecules
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
