So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I need water and some morals
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
