Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
