Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
