Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
