Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize