you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
