The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
