Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
