If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
