OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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