Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
