Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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