My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
